Mystery Men

 A group of inept amateur superheroes must try to save the day when a supervillian threatens to destroy a major superhero and the city.

The Blue Raja: Hank Azaria, Mr. Furious: Ben Stiller, The Shoveller: William H. Macy, Casanova Frankenstein: Geoffrey Rush, The Bowler: Janeane Garofalo, Captain Amazing/Lance Hunt: Greg Kinnear, The Spleen: Paul Reubens,  Invisible Boy: Kel Mitchell, The Sphinx: Wes Studi, Tony P.: Eddie Izzard

3strangemen_mm.wav Invisible Boy: Hey, dad, I'm going to my room with 3 strange men.

behindspleen_mm.wav Shoveler: Invisible boy, I think it's time you were seen.  Sphinx, you have trained us well.  And, Dr. Heller, you might just have given us the edge we need.  And, Spleen, I don't want to stand behind you, but I'll fight beside you with pride.

carsick_mm.wav Spleen: I feel carsick?

cooldevice_mm.wav Casanova Frankenstein: Oh no no no... this is an amusing little gizmo.  It's really quite cool. Cpt. Amazing: Yeah? What is it? [hissing sound]... [cough] yech. CF: It's a chloroform-deploying portable enticement snare... CA: Aw DANG!

crashingparties_mm.wav Tony P: Ha ha! I love crashin' parties!

daddyishome_mm.wav CF: Hello, Champion City... Daddy is home.

datewithdestiny_mm.wav Shoveler: We've got a blind date with destiny, and it looks like she's ordered the lobster.

dontbargein_mm.wav Blue Raja: Mom, how many times have I asked you not to just barge in here.

eatsandwich_mm.wav Shoveler: Do we all gather together and go kick some Casanova butt, or do I eat this sandwich?

eventhingsup_mm.wav Shoveler: This will even things up a little bit... what is it?

forksandflatulence_mm.wav Sphinx: Casanova will have many weapons.  To beat him, we will have to have more than forks and flatulence.

huntisamazing_mm.wav Furious: That's 'cause Lance Hunt is Captain Amazing. Shoveler: Let's not start that again.  Lance Hunt wears glasses. Captain Amazing doesn't wear glasses.

imthespleen_mm.wav Spleen: Whatsup? I'm the spleen.

introductions_mm.wav Blue Raja: Allow me to introduce myself. Blue Raja, master of silverware, forks a specialty - at your service.  My coleague, the Shoveler. Shoveler: Big fan of your work. BR: And standing rather painfully aside is our cohort Mr. Furious.

itsthespleen_mm.wav Blue Raja: Oh, bugger all! It's the Spleen. Oh, play dead.

itsworking_mm.wav Shoveler: It's working!

killedca_mm.wav Invisible Boy: We need Captain Amazing. BR: Yes, but unfortunately we just killed him.

limeyforkflinger_mm.wav Blue Raja: The point is, you boy is a limey fork flinger, mother, hard cheese to swallow, I know, but there it is.

lookup_mm.wav Furious: I don't know why you encourage those people. Shoveler: Those people look up to us, Roy. Furious: Eh, that's true.

meet@junkyard_mm.wav Shoveler: We'll meet at the junk yard, We'll go from there.

noknives_mm.wav Shoveler: You're the master of cutlery, you can't throw a knife sometimes? BR: No I can't. You can't use a rake sometimes? Shoveler: No, I'm the Shoveler. BR: Well, I'm the Blue Raja.  I'm not stab man, I'm not knifey-boy, I'm the Blue Raja.

notenoughbeer_mm.wav [Spleen makes kissy-kissy noises] Bowler: There's not enough beer in the world, Spleen, I'm sorry.

otherguys_mm.wav Shoveler: We're not your classic Super-heeroes, we're not the favorites... we're the other guys. We're the guys nobody ever bets on.

pathetic_mm.wav Agent: I think, right now, we should focus on the positive. Tonight was good. CA: Yeah? You think so? 'Cause I was worried it was... PATHETIC!

penmanship_mm.wav Bowler: Are you angry? COME ON, MAN! Shoveler: Your penmanship is atrocious.

pieserver_mm.wav BR: I knew I should have brought my large pie server.

planstokill_mm.wav CA: Listen, I really think we need to talk about your plans, here. CF: You know my plans, Lancy. Tomorrow night, I'm going to kill you. CA: Right, that's the part that really doesn't work for me.

pmsavenger_mm.wav PMSA: PMS Avenger... I only work 4 days a month. You got a problem with that? Group: No... no problem.  PMSA: WHATEVER!

publicize_mm.wav Furious: My cousin knows this guy who knows a publicist. Shoveler: What are we going to publicize, Roy?  The fact that we get our butts kicked?  A LOT!?

pullmyfinger_mm.wav Spleen: I'm the spleen. If you want to know what my power is, pull my finger.

questiontraining_mm.wav Sphinx: He who questions training only trains himself in asking questions.... Furious: WHAT!!??

ragetakingover_mm.wav Furious: Temperature rising... vision bluring... rage taking over... Shoveler: Roy, I got an idea. Why don't you come with us? Furious: Okay. Rage subsiding... pulse slowing... anger fading...

seperateyoutwo_mm.wav Spleen: Hey, hey! I going to have to separate you two. Is that what you want? You want to be separated? Bowler: He started it.

shortson_mm.wav Bowler: Maybe you should put some shorts on, or something, if you want to keep fighting evil today.

shotgun_mm.wav Spleen: Shotgun! (calling the Shotgun seat)

shouldstick_mm.wav BR: Yes, this one should stick!

shouldweknock_mm.wav Shoveler: Whadaya think? Should we knock, or just let ourselves in?

sitdown_mm.wav Lead Bee: Alright! Sit down and shutup!

sphynxpower_mm.wav BR: Well, there's the Sphinx, of course. Furious: The what? BR: The Sphinx. Shoveler: I know this guy. Big crime fighter from down South. Big league hitter down there. Furious: What's his power? BR: He's terribly mysterious. Furious: That's it? That's his power? He's mysterious? BR: Well, terribly mysterious Shoveler: Plus, he can, like, cut guns in half with his mind. BR: Really!? I hadn't heard that.

spleendemo_mm.wav Spleen: Let's see.  Distance, seven meters.  Air speed normal. Compensate for air conditioning... pull my fingers. Shoveler: Don't do it. BR: Dear God. Spleen: S! [fart] B! [fart] D! [fart]... silent, but deadly.

swordofteamwork_mm.wav Shoveler: We struck down evil with the mighty sword of teamwork, and the hammer of not bickering.

terriblymysterious_mm.wav Sphinx: The wise man knows that he is weakes when he thinks himself strong. Spleen: Whoa... mysterious. BR: Terribly mysterious.

throughdoor_mm.wav Shoveler: If we can't get through that door, this battle is over.

timebomb_mm.wav BR: Trifle strident with that bit of crumpet, weren't we, Furious? Furious: Well, I am a ticking time bomb of fury.

triangulate_mm.wav Shoveler: Alright, I'll take point, you two flank. Let's triangulate. Spleen: Equilateral or isosceles?

tryouts_mm.wav Furious: Alright, state your name and power... 1: I am the waffler... do you have a health plan, by the way? Maybe dental, eye? BR: Next? 2: Hi, I am pencil head. 3: And I am son of pencil head. 2: We erase crime. BR: 2 generations of... eh.. yes, thank you. 4: I am ballerina man!! Furious: I didn't need to see that... Thanks!

viacondios_mm.wav Via con dios.

watermelonfeet_mm.wav Furious: Why am I doing this again? Sphinx: When you can balance a tack hammer on your head, you will head off your foes with a balanced attack. Furious: And why am I wearing the watermelon on my feet?... Sphinx: I don't remember telling you to do that.

wereno1_mm.wav Sphinx: We are number one! All others are number two or lower.

what-the-fork_mm.wav BR: I say "What the fork", let's do it!

windshines_mm.wav Furious: Okay, I don't need a compass to tell me which way the wind shines.

yourein_mm.wav Furious: Now, granted, you've got a good arm, I'll give you that but we're an elite cod... cod-ray Bowler: Cadre  Shoveler: You're in BR: Welcome aboard.

yourethesphynx_mm.wav BR: Crimeny, you're the Sphinx!

yousavedtheday_mm.wav Bowler: Yes! We're all very aware that you saved the day, and I'm sure we'll be hearing about it for the rest of our lives.

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